Saturday, January 14, 2012

Diagnosing Bibliophilia

In recent months, a growing awareness has been spreading the country of a new and frightening disorder. No one knows how long this disorder has plagued the world, but now there is finally a way of diagnosing, and potentially curing, this ailment. It's called Bibliophilia, and it's consuming lives at an unstoppable rate. Doing our part to ease the madness, Old Firehouse Books is providing a list of symptoms, so that you might be able to diagnose yourself or loved ones before it's too late.

Symptoms include, but are not limited to:
-Arriving at any appointment and hoping that there will be a wait, so you have time to read
-Carrying at least one book with you at any given moment
-Suffering from anxiety as a result of separation from the written word
-Headaches caused by the constant conundrum of never knowing what to read next
-Constant repetition of the phrase "Just let me finish this one page/chapter..."
-Excitement over missed flights/buses because of the extra reading time allowed
-Denying companionship because the friend/loved one never shuts up long enough for you to finish your book
-Short attention span and inability to sit and do nothing, a book must always be open
-Aversion/disgust of television
-English major...
-Inability to shut up when asked if you've read anything good lately
-Owning enough bookmarks to be able to wall paper a house
-Inability to walk through a bookstore without buying something

If you exhibit two or more of these symptoms, you may be suffering from Bibliophilia. If you believe you may be a victim of this disorder, please report immediately to Old Firehouse Books for the only available cure. Actually, we probably can't help, since we're all afflicted ourselves, but at least you'll be in good company!

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