Sunday, May 3, 2009

Book Jokes

Hello friends, co-workers, book lovers, Mom, and whoever else might be so inclined to read this blog. It's been a while since my last post since school is nearing it's end and things are starting to heat up. My post today is about a book recently lent to me called The McSweeney's Joke Book of Book Jokes. In the introduction John Hodgman says it all: "Extremely bookish, verging on terminally nerdy, literary humor." That's right. Finally, our joke book has come.

The book is a compilation of lists, short stories, mock letters, etc. that any book nerd would find hilarious. Topics covered include the college recruitment of Harry Potter, notes from Homer's writing group, the origin of the Berenstain Bears, Thom Yorke's Bedtime Stories, and "Dateline: To Catch a Predator: Humbert Humbert." This book gets me.

Just to give you all a little sampling, here is one of my favorites found in the collection.

"Alternate Endings to Famous Literary Works as Written by a Fifteen-Year-Old With a Grudge"
by Paul Krumholz

"Rip Van Winkle" by Washington Irving
After retreating to the woods on a hunting trip, Rip Van Winkle drinks a myseterious potion and falls asleep for twenty years, during which the American Revolution passes him by. When he awakens, he finds that his friend Dan, who can be a real asshole sometimes, has written "Balls" on his forehead. Then Dan tells everyone at school about it.

The Odyssey by Homer
This is the tale of a Greek warrior, Odysseus, and his journey from Troy back to his homeland of Ithaca, where he left his wife and family during the ten-year expedition. Except, when Odysseus arrives back, he finds that one of his friends (ha!-- more like one of his ex-friends, Dan!) made out with his wife, Stacey McLellan, at a party over the weekend, even though his friend knew how much Odysseus really liked her.

The Invisible Man by H.G. Wells
A mysterious scientist named Griffin discovers a chemical formula to turn the human body invisible, but is dismayed to find that he is permanently stuck in his invisible state. He then goes over to the high school and just sits in the girls' locker room for, like, five hours and probably sees Dan's older sister showering.

Oedipus Rex by Sophocles
Oedipus, after being cast out of his hometown of Thebes in ancient Greece due to a fateful prophecy proclaiming that he would kill his father and marry his mother-- the king and queen of Thebes-- is adopted by the king and queen of Corinth, whom he assumes to be his true parents. However, after hearing the prophecy, Oedipus leaves Corinth and the king and queen, whom he believes the prophecy is about, in order to protect them. On his expedition, though, he does unknowingly encounter and murder his true father, and later he marries his mother, who bears his children. Upon realizing his real parents' identities, Oedipus stabs himself in the eyes with needles to blind himself forevermore from his sins, proclaiming, "Why couldn't it have been my friend Dan's mom? She's such a MILF!" Yeah, I went there, Dan.

So, hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Also, welcome back to the staff, Bonner!

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